The fish story

When I was younger and idealistic, I was talking, not sure what about, to my ex. Something about helping someone. He said "give a man a fish, feed him for a day, teach a man to fish, feed him for a life time". Simple, I know. People have been saying it for years I guess, but I had never heard it. My mom was a helper, she helped, with whatever, whenever she could. She is really tired now, she is really worn out.

Another time I was talking to my ex and he said to me "there's his side, her side and somewhere in the middle, there is the truth". Also a simple truth, something often said. I am pretty sure my mom said something similar often. She always says it takes two.

Maybe you're thinking - duh

Maybe you're thinking - and so?

Maybe you're thinking - why are you talking about your ex?

When I was an intern, my supervisor who I respected very much in certain areas of his life, was talking to me about a case. He told me that even with the best intentions, if I am telling people what to do or how to do things or if I gave them what I thought that they needed, then the success or failure that happens to them is robbed from them because they didn't decide how to do it themselves. He also told me that if something goes wrong, then the responsibility, in that person's mind at least, falls on me, not him. I think maybe that's not just a thought.

My Aric doesn't do anything that he doesn't want to do, or doesn't feel like he should. Not if it seems like a good idea, not if it makes sense to every person around him, not ever. On the flip side, if he feels like he should - no matter how impossible or silly it seems to other people, he will do it.

There are situations that you have to do your best to control and steer - because they effect your life directly. Then there are situations that you don't have to and very likely shouldn't.

already a day

I am on the internet, and I should be doing a lot of other things.. I am sure that I have written something like this before, although I haven't felt so blah in a long time. What contributes to this? Well, being the weeny that I am, I cannot eat something sweet or a pastry, things like that, without eating something else first and function well for the next 48 or so hours. The great thing about this is that I usually eat like that when I am running late or in a hurry so you have busy on top of eating bad = a very bad day.

My kids are crying
and fighting
and not minding
Now this is not the norm, so I have to assume that my bad eating (yesterday) +not feeling well could contribute to me not being "on top of my game"=less than optimal children conditions.

I hurt my knee last night, it locks. My body savvy hubby says that the meniscus (?) has a locking mechanism that doesn't quite work on some people. I have cringed for years at the thought of someone knee boarding, sitting on your knees, things like that. I am very careful with my knee, but last night it did it anyway, for a long time, and it still hurts. Maybe my knee doesn't like white flour either.

My house was messy this morning because I didn't do my chores last night, my schedule is off today because of a bunch of factors that I could have controlled but didn't.

Can I get a startover??

What is actually in the Health Care Proposal - condensed

• Whatever, I cut and pasted. I got this from someone who gets emails from angerisbrewing.com -
  

• Page 22: Mandates audits of all employers that self-insure!
• Page 29: Admission: your health care will be rationed!
• Page 30: A government committee will decide what treatments and benefits you get (and, unlike an insurer, there will be no appeals process)
• Page 42: The "Health Choices Commissioner" will decide health benefits for you. You will have no choice. None.
• Page 50: All non-US citizens, illegal or not, will be provided with free healthcare services.
• Page 58: Every person will be issued a National ID Healthcard.
• Page 59: The federal government will have direct, real-time access to all individual bank accounts for electronic funds transfer.
• Page 65: Taxpayers will subsidize all union retiree and community organizer health plans (read: SEIU, UAW and ACORN)
• Page 72: All private healthcare plans must conform to government rules to participate in a Healthcare Exchange.
• Page 84: All private healthcare plans must participate in the Healthcare Exchange (i.e., total government control of private plans)
• Page 91: Government mandates linguistic infrastructure for services; translation: illegal aliens
• Page 95: The Government will pay ACORN and Americorps to sign up individuals for Government-run Health Care plan.
• Page 102: Those eligible for Medicaid will be automatically enrolled: you have no choice in the matter.
• Page 124: No company can sue the government for price-fixing. No "judicial review" is permitted against the government monopoly. Put simply, private insurers will be crushed.
• Page 127: The AMA sold doctors out: the government will set wages.
• Page 145: An employer MUST auto-enroll employees into the government-run public plan. No alternatives.
• Page 126: Employers MUST pay healthcare bills for part-time employees AND their families.
• Page 149: Any employer with a payroll of $400K or more, who does not offer the public option, pays an 8% tax on payroll
• Page 150: Any employer with a payroll of $250K-400K or more, who does not offer the public option, pays a 2 to 6% tax on payroll
• Page 167: Any individual who doesn't' have acceptable healthcare (according to the government) will be taxed 2.5% of income.
• Page 170: Any NON-RESIDENT alien is exempt from individual taxes (Americans will pay for them).
• Page 195: Officers and employees of Government Healthcare Bureaucracy will have access to ALL American financial and personal records.
• Page 203: "The tax imposed under this section shall not be treated as tax." Yes, it really says that.
• Page 239: Bill will reduce physician services for Medicaid. Seniors and the poor most affected."
• Page 241: Doctors: no matter what specialty you have, you'll all be paid the same (thanks, AMA!)
• Page 253: Government sets value of doctors' time, their professional judgment, etc.
• Page 265: Government mandates and controls productivity for private healthcare industries.
• Page 268: Government regulates rental and purchase of power-driven wheelchairs.
• Page 272: Cancer patients: welcome to the wonderful world of rationing!
• Page 280: Hospitals will be penalized for what the government deems preventable re-admissions.
• Page 298: Doctors: if you treat a patient during an initial admission that results in a readmission, you will be penalized by the government.
• Page 317: Doctors: you are now prohibited for owning and investing in healthcare companies!
• Page 318: Prohibition on hospital expansion. Hospitals cannot expand without government approval.
• Page 321: Hospital expansion hinges on "community" input: in other words, yet another payoff for ACORN.
• Page 335: Government mandates establishment of outcome-based measures: i.e., rationing.
• Page 341: Government has authority to disqualify Medicare Advantage Plans, HMOs, etc.
• Page 354: Government will restrict enrollment of SPECIAL NEEDS individuals.
• Page 379: More bureaucracy: Telehealth Advisory Committee (healthcare by phone).
• Page 425: More bureaucracy: Advance Care Planning Consult: Senior Citizens, assisted suicide, euthanasia?
• Page 425: Government will instruct and consult regarding living wills, durable powers of attorney, etc. Mandatory. Appears to lock in estate taxes ahead of time.
• Page 425: Government provides approved list of end-of-life resources, guiding you in death
  
• Page 427: Government mandates program that orders end-of-life treatment; government dictates how your life ends.
• Page 429: Advance Care Planning Consult will be used to dictate treatment as patient's health deteriorates. This can include an ORDER for end-of-life plans. An ORDER from the GOVERNMENT.
• Page 430: Government will decide what level of treatments you may have at end-of-life.
• Page 469: Community-based Home Medical Services: more payoffs for ACORN.
• Page 472: Payments to Community-based organizations: more payoffs for ACORN.
• Page 489: Government will cover marriage and family therapy. Government intervenes in your marriage.
• Page 494: Government will cover mental health services: defining, creating and rationing those services.

Whatever health insurance bill is passed in Congress MUST apply to members of Congress and other federal employees.

No Exceptions. If it isn't good enough for them, it isn't good enough for us.

Contact Info:
The White House
202-456-1414

U.S. Congress
202-224-3121

Dr. David Blumenthal
Department of Health and Human Services
National Coordinator for Health Information Technology
Dr. Blumenthal has been given the responsibility of developing a nation-wide medical monitoring system, which will "oversee" the choices your doctor makes when it comes to your health. Diagnoses, treatments, and recommendations will all be recorded in this system and analyzed by the government. If you doctor refuses to be a "meaningful user" of the system, he or she can expect to be penalized starting in 2014.
Contact Information
Office of the National Coordinator for Health Information Technology
Department of Health and Human Services
200 Independence Ave. SW
Suite 729-D
Washington, DC 20201
Phone: 202-690-7151
Fax: 202-690-6079
Email: onc.request@hhs.gov


Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel
Head of the Department of Bioethics
The Clinical Center of the National Institutes of Health
Dr. Emanuel, the brother of white house chief of staff Rahm Emanuel, has written extensively of the benefits of "comparative effectiveness research." This concept is keystone in socialized health care policies, such as those in Canada and the UK. In essence, comparative effectiveness research promotes devoting health care resources to those who have the most time left to benefit from them. To put it another way, those who are considered too old or too sick to truly reap the benefits from expensive treatments would be denied such care. Can this be where medicine is heading?
Contact Information
Department of Bioethics
National Institutes of Health
10 Center Drive, Building 10, Room 1C118
Bethesda, MD 20892-1156
Phone: 301.496.2429
Fax: 301.496.0760
Email: bioethics-inquiries@mail.nih.gov

Revisiting my Election Day Blog

After commenting on Noel's blog (thanks for bringing it up Noel and being a good sport), I found this blog that I wrote on election day, then deleted because my husband laughed at me for being an extremist. I think that is quite appropriate now, seeing that the things that people predicted are coming true, and worse than expected.

I went to the Palin Rally. I really love that there are still Americans that love America, that think that America is the "Land of free and the home of the brave". I like that there are still people that will wave the American flag and wear American pins (see Obama's statement about offending people) and whole groups of people that really believe that despite America not always making the right decision, we have helped millions of people in hundreds of countries and we are strong and good and some want to keep us that way. I like that America is based on moral principles and personal strength and accountability - even if many times it is only in theory. I like freedom to succeed or screw up and the fact that there will be just consequences for both, most times and at least in theory. I don't think that McCain will win, and I feel so sad about that.

Some things that I think that we can look forward to if Obama wins:
-Extreme personal Health Care regulations, - see Codex in Europe
-Limited Free Speech and Freedom of Religion in the name of "hate crimes"- see Canada
-Huge tax liabilites so that the government can "take care of us" from the cradle to the grave-see Europe
-Limited personal accountability, responsibilty, ingenuity, and entrepeneurialship (did I spell that right?)
-A fast track ticket to the EU, maybe not in the first 4 years but after we are cripled financially, morally and structurally, we may not have a lot of choice.

Those are my predictions... You can hate me, be mad at me, agree with me silently because it is so unpopular to talk about this stuff, whatever. I am going to vote tomorrow, and that is what I am voting about and for. I think it is interesting that this whole time we listen to Obama and he can not answer a question, blame anything that is brought up about his past on "desperate attempts by the McCain camp" and we just look on, either because you want to believe in what he says or because you get such a bad reaction if you question anything he says or does or has done. Interesting.

Well - 7 months later, my predictions are well on their way to coming true. $787 billion that hasn't done what it was supposed to, but did enact some pretty good liberal programs that they haven't been able to pass for years through the legislative process, shift from at least a resemblance of state control to huge federal control, from our private industry to our healthcare, an overall sense that America has been a bad place that needs only to be apologized for and taken over by people who know better and can fix us poor, dillusional lay people. The congressmen, I think, are now in this not for us, the people who elected them, but instead for the control that they continue to acquire. They make a lot of money with a lot of perks, and don't want to give that up. There was this thing in Nevada that they are trying to not have to legislate on things that come to them in a petition, I don't know if it passed. So basically, if you aren't a lobbyist or a legislator, you have no ability to affect change in your laws. About 10 years ago, there was a study when Clinton was trying to loosen home loan requirements that said that this could destroy the economy, and it did. Who got blamed for that? Not Dodd or anyone like that, no those poor democrats are just trying to help people! But Bush - the evil dictator he is. Well, we asked for Change, and it is acoming, in huge droves, and is causing some unintended consequences, like the loss of the American dream, and American Freedoms.

I bought three bumper stickers, haven't put any of them on my car yet... (my husband is mad because he would still have to drive it sometimes)

1- When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty - Thomas Jefferson
2-So this is how democracy dies, with thunderous applause

and my favorite quote
3- A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have - Thomas Jefferson

And finally, I was watching the news the other day (it's enthralling lately) and this woman was on a panel, she was from "academia" and seemed very proud of it. They were talking about the proposed healthcare legislation, which she even said was much different than she thought it would be with some pretty significant consequences, but then said that she and her colleagues are quite pleased at this move toward socialism in America. Well at least people are starting to tell the truth.

Vacation time

Going on two weeks ago now, our family did a family vacation/couple's vacation. This is an interesting subject in our house because I think that the family vacation is the most important, should get the most time, money, planning, etc, and Aric thinks that the couple's vacation should get at least if not more of the attention. This year, the first real year that we have done anything like this, we split it right down the middle..

We started off by going to a family reunion in a resort campground, you know the ones that have cabins and look really woodsy, but have restaurants and stores and swimming pools and game rooms? Really a great place for a family. Then we went to Sunset Beach outside of Watsonville. It dropped 30 degrees in the 40 miles getting to the coast and was cold, but very nice. Spent a day on the beach digging a hole and playing wave tag. I love the ocean really. Our last day we went to Vallejo with everyone and decided that really, when you have a set of teenagers and a set of toddlers, it should be separate days. We are going back to that to get a less chaotic experience. But that place has really cool stuff and could be done in a day trip and could be pretty cheap, just saying.

We spent one night at home, then Aric and I went to Ikea, Petaluma, Point Reyes Station, Point Reyes Beach, Stinson Beach, Mill city, Santa Rosa and a couple other places. We stayed at Stinson, loved it and are going back. We took a nap in the afternoon at Point Reyes Beach after walking the 300 steps up and down to the lighthouse, love the sound of the ocean. Went to see the moon at Stinson Beach and tried to watch the sunrise, but it was too cloudy. I love the ocean, the sound and the smell. Like you think of all of the cheezy things that people say about the light of the moon and the sound of the waves and the smell of the sea, and it sounds cheezy, but it is true and I love it.

Wierdest place and well worth the mention.... We had breakfast at Point Reyes Station which was really good. As we were walking around, there was no noise, like nothing, no birds, no bugs, you could see a couple of kids and dogs, but no noise came from them. It was like a beautiful and dignified deserted place, with all of their upscale shops and cars and crazy expensive hippy clothes and stuff and a Marxist sounding speaker, and all very "spiritual" and enlightened things. It was wierd. The coolest place there was this little shop that had what looked to be the less dignified and enlightened people eating pizza and ice cream. I was pretty glad to be leaving there. Beautiful with a very wierd feeling.

It was fun, no plans, no agenda, just driving and talking and listening to music and hanging out, making out, arguing a little, loving a little more, getting car sick, eating out a lot, spending as much time as we could next to the water, drinking good alcohol and coffee. It was a really good time.

tidbits and food

I have beent trying this detox thing for the past couple of weeks. It sucks. However, today I ate Scoopers and would really like to vomit out the gut bomb that is now in my belly. It makes me think of what that stuff does to my body all the time since it seems that your system has to get used to it again. But it tastes... so ... good. mmmmmmmmmm.

My baby girl just came in after her cousin poured dirt all over her, then she leaned over my leg and looked up at me with her dark eyes and chubby cheeks and said in the sweetest little voice "take i baff?" I wish I could just keep her this age forever.

Relationships are interesting, and hard sometimes. It is wierd to think that you could love someone so much that you are willing to get over things that you never thought that you would tolerate. I am sure that is reciprocal.

My kid is now making fun of me for writing stuff about his sister, and I am sure he will make fun of me for the other little tidbits also.

I had surgery last week. I am really pissed that my body has been so messed up since my last lil nug... Hopefully they fixed it. I don't do well with hospitals and surgeries. The pain medicine is nice though.

I think food makes you feel happy or sad. I have been in a wierd mood for the past couple weeks, and am feeling much better after a strawberry milkshake, the best fries in the world and the best cheeseburger in the world. As unhappy as my belly is, my soul is happy.

The Meat Saga

A couple of weeks ago, the 15th, this guy came to my door while I was working out from Reno Steak Company. He seemed like a nice guy, said that I looked of course 10 years younger than I really was, pulled out all of this meat that was choice grade, "like Raley's", free range chicken, wild caught salmon...... On and on. Brandon was very concerned that I buy meat from this guy. So could you buy a little pack o' meat? No. But he was going to give me a "killer deal" because one of his customers wasn't home and if that happens, he can expand his route by letting other people try it at this really great price. In fact, this price is so great, that he would appreciate if I wouldn't tell my neighbors the price I was getting because they were paying full price for theirs. This guy was in my house for over an hour. So yes, I bought $300 dollars worth of meat, like 12 boxes. My husband was none too happy. Now usually I would say I really didn't care, but he made a good point in saying that if he were to spend $300 on anything and not clear it through me first, I might... well I am not sure what I would do, but it wouldn't be good.

Now I don't and can't cook very well. I try hard, but it is really hard for me. This stuff was already marinated, packaged individually. I was pretty stoked, Aric wasn't. Then we ate it one time and it really wasn't great, except for the marinated chicken.

I have been making arrangements since about 2 days after I bought the meat, to try and get rid of this meat. The guy, Jeff, wrote on the receipt that if Aric wasn't happy with it, I could return it for a full refund, blah blah blah. Jeff was sick, for like a week, then they didn't have the checkbook at the office, then they were supposed to come at noon on Friday, didn't. Called at like 5:30 Friday wondering why I wasn't home, but like I told the 4 other people that I talked to from there, I work Friday nights. Weird that is when you want to show up. I called 4 different people today, they don't even have a secretary that answers the phone all of the time. One guy that answered their 800 number didn't even work for them anymore, but has a cousin, who works for a manager there, and he could maybe get it taken care of. Now, I am going to their office and meeting the owner, who will have the checkbook (?) at their office because they don't have a driver who is available to pick this stuff up. My driver, Jeff, hung up on me the 3 times that I called him this morning. This is awesome.

Now the moral, if you are still reading and haven't switched to something shorter....why do we do stuff that we know we shouldn't do? I knew my Aric wouldn't want this, I hate salesman, I don't cook the food that we buy most of the time. Was it because my 13 year old really wanted me to buy something from this guy? I think he just didn't want the guy to have to do so much work and not get anything. Was I seriously thinking that after not cooking for 25 years, this would be the one thing that would get me to be able to do it? I doubt that anyone will be there when I get there, and I wonder if I do meet someone, if the check will be from a current account? I meet him at 2, wish me luck.